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Joke of the Day

"Where can i learn the skyrim dovah language and daedric too? In the complete opposite direction of a vagina."

"""listen up, I'm only going to show you this once!"" ~ suicide bomber teacher."

"If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple thank you is all I need. Don't concern yourself with how I got in your house."

"Wanna hear a joke about Nitric Oxide ? NO"

"What was Hitler's problem when the lights went out? He could Nazi. Edit: Fuck me, Reddit. I heard you *liked* puns..."

"World: Hey check out this sport we made called football. America: *sips beer* Check out this other sport I just made called football."

"What do you call someone who speaks only one language? An American."

"Three politicians go to heaven. No, seriously, it could happen."

"How do you call a black man in space? Nasa first called it Albert"

"...: who do you listen to more? Mummy or daddy? 5y: mummy ...: why? 5y: mummy talks more"