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Joke of the Day

"Where can i learn the skyrim dovah language and daedric too? In the complete opposite direction of a vagina."

"What kind of bird does not make babies? A swallow"

"I asked out a statistician on a date. She failed to reject me."

"""Name?"" queries the Starbucks barista. The almighty feathered serpent Quetzalcoatl only sighs."

"More people die from drug overdose than guns... Because guns can't take drugs."

"2 Jews walk into a bar.... They buy it."

"I just got off the phone with God. He's pretty bummed out. Poor guy has a huge crush on an atheist, but she doesn't even know he exists."

"A chicken and an egg are lying in bed The chicken, smoking a cigarette, turns to the egg and says, ""Well, I guess we answered that question."""

"My friend asked me why I act so insecure when he would talk to my girlfriend. I don't remember what my answer was, but their son Malcolm turns two next month."

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By walking...J.K. Rowling"