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Joke of the Day

"I can't stand when people say a babies age in months after a year old. ""Yeah he's 29 months old"", B$tch don't make me do math."

Next Joke
 
"[commercial] ""I'm tired of fruits that taste good."" Narrator: GRAPEFRUIT"
"Your baby might be adorable, but so is my cat and she cleans her own butt."
"What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken, eggs can't cum"
"People are always asking me for advice. I finally have some to give: Make every light switch a dimmer switch."
"Who's driving? A mexican and black guy are in a car. Who's driving? Answer: The police officer"
"I hate when I put my open beer down and forget where I put it and then I find like 7 open beers."
"9 out of 10 depressed people are not positive thinkers."
"The Worst Journey in the World by Helen Back"
"I slept with every girl on my soccer team... I think I'm a team player ...sorry I'll leave now :/"