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Joke of the Day
"I wouldn't say I'm superstitious, just a little stitious."
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"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust"
"Women's rights"
"They say that American beer is like having sex on a canoe. It's fucking close to water."
"So embarrassed... ...thought sombody cute was staring at me so i stared back. But then i realized we were both just the negative space around a vase"
"Feel sorry for Julio Cesar tonight. Last time I saw a Brazilian facing this many shots he was jumping a ticket barrier at Stockwell."
"How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist? Ask him/her to pronounce unionized Edit: Gets 3000+ upvotes, Karma remains at 20..."
"I don't care who you are. If you can constantly make me laugh, I'm probably gonna wanna fcuk you."
"Did you hear about a guy who collected memorabilia of Rosa Parks, Florence Nightingale, Joan of Arc, and Wonder Woman? Apparently, he was a heroine addict."
"How many factory farmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they would rather keep you in the dark!"