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Joke of the Day

"Feel sorry for Julio Cesar tonight. Last time I saw a Brazilian facing this many shots he was jumping a ticket barrier at Stockwell."

"A vampire stopped coming to my nightly poker games. All I said was that he made too many mistakes..."

"Just saw a French footballer playing Nintendo Think it was Thierry on Wii"

"Whats pink and always slippery? A pink slipper"

"Are designated drivers only for people who drink?? Coz I've already dropped my keys twice just walking to my car."

"Why are black people so tall? Cuz their knee grows."

"Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank."

"The DUMBSQUAD ft. Fern a.k.a DefyingReaper77 (The Funny Life, SECOND)"

"My buddy told me this one: ""People think I'm ugly until they see my bank account"" ""Then they think I'm ugly and poor."""

"If electricity takes the path of least resistance... why doesn't lightning only strike the country of France?"