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Joke of the Day

"NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN, beer and porn, making it very clear that men are not from Mars.."

"Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft"

"What do you call a bitchy midget who can get to places quickly? A shortcunt."

"The worst part about looking for a job is if you're successful, you end up with a job."

"What's the best thing about a blowjob? The five minutes of peace and quiet"

"Guy comes home and says to his wife, ""Pack your bags! I just won the lottery!"" She jumps for joy and asks, ""Where are we going?!?"" He says, ""I'm not going anywhere. You're outta here!"""

"Hello?.... Steph? Man: Can I get Steph Curry's number? Operator: 1-800-war-rior Man: I tried that, but it didn't ring"

"A little boy went up to his father and asked, ""Dad, where did my intelligence come from? Father replied, ""Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, because I still have mine."""

"man I hate tailgaters I was doing 35 over the limit today and the idiot behind me was still tailgating and the flashing lights on his car looked stupid too"

"Why was the London sperm bank so unsuccessful? The were only two donors. One came on the bus, the other missed the tube."