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Joke of the Day

"man I hate tailgaters I was doing 35 over the limit today and the idiot behind me was still tailgating and the flashing lights on his car looked stupid too"

"getting my hopes up only to become even more disappointed dot edu"

"I got a tattoo in memory of MH370... You'll never find it."

"I haven't heard a good poop joke in a while... find them all to be a bit corny."

"That guy who ran through the White House could go to prison for ten years, so there's another reason I don't run."

"Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball."

"ATTORNEY: my client would like to confess ME: i sell human organs on the black market JUDGE [who needs a kidney transplant]: tell me more"

"I've only been in jail for 5 minutes and I've already been raped. ... My uncle doesn't fuck around when he plays Monopoly."

"How many Liberals does it take to change a lightbulb? The light bulb doesn't want to change and you should stop forcing it to do what it doesn't want to do."

"What bird tastes just like butter ? A stork !"