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Joke of the Day

"Hello?.... Steph? Man: Can I get Steph Curry's number? Operator: 1-800-war-rior Man: I tried that, but it didn't ring"

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? The porcupine has pricks on the outside."

"Why is santa's sack so big? He only comes once a year..."

"Why can't ISIS members go fuck themselves? Because sex with animals is haram."

"How many activists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because they can't change anything."

"Did you know that timing is the secret to great comedy? Like a head phone jack is the secret to a great phone."

"I decided to give away all of my old batteries Free of charge"

"I met this amazing girl last night but got off on the wrong foot. She wanted it on her left foot. I can't help that I have horrible aim."

"Why do pirates like girls with small tits? Because they always search for sunken chests"

"What's a greater Pressure, the impact of Earth hitting the sun, the impact of Earth hitting the moon, or Republican demands for Carson and Kasich to drop out? Please discuss. Thanks."