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Joke of the Day

"Why was the London sperm bank so unsuccessful? The were only two donors. One came on the bus, the other missed the tube."

"At what point in listening to your kid whine can you say, ""Sorry. This relationship isn't working out. You should start seeing other moms."""

"I walked into a bar once... and it fuckin hurt."

"How do you make a moth bawl? Hit him with a fly swatter."

"I think Lady Gaga just puts glue on herself and rolls around on random things."

"Why can't motorcycles go faster? They're two tired."

"What's better than winning a silver medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded"

"Why is masturbating in France like cooking an egg? Because in both cases you're cracking one oeuf"

"yo mamma so fat she make a whale look bulimic"

"When I was 20 I took a vow of celibacy... My wife however called them ""wedding vows"""