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Joke of the Day

"How many prostitutes do you have to kill until someone notices? I'm not sure yet."

"Hurricane Sandy I asked my bartender for a Hurricane Sandy. She looked confused and asked, ""What is that?"" I replied, ""A watered down Manhattan."""

"Kid: would you rather be the Evil Queen or the Wicked Witch? M: I'd rather be the Mom K: ooh, right. Much scarier."

"Fact: You can burn up to 10 calories a minutes while having sex... Related: Looking for a workout partner."

"The fastest land animal is a guy that sees a woman about to go through his phone"

"It puts the lotion in the basket. Then it calls the wife to make sure it's the right brand so it doesn't get the hose again."

"When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject, these days if you mention botox no one raises an eyebrow."

"Conjunctivitis.com Now that's a site for sore eye's!"

"How does your stomach know to send the burps to the mouth and the farts to your bum?"

"Bloody Mary used to be Virgin Mary."