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Joke of the Day

"Why do crows fly upside down over Reservations? Cause even they know that indians get enough free shit!"

"My resolution for the new year is... 1080p"

"A guy told me he didn't have a penis I doubt he gets cocky often."

"How many physiotherapists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just give the dead bulb some exercises to do and hope it will be working a bit better the next time they see it."

"What did the fighter pilot do when his plane was about to crash? He ejaculated from the cockpit."

"LPT: Always bring a deck of cards with you when you go hiking Joke: If you get lost, play some Solitaire. Soon enough someone will be around to tell you how to play your own damn cards!"

"What do you call a group of Mexicans doing work? Manuel labour."

"You in the crosswalk: I stopped for you. I stopped. I'm stopped. I won't unstop. Don't look at me. Just walk. Go. For the love of God."

"I told my waiter the same thing i told my plastic surgeon. Give me chicken breasts."

"Why isn't diving an event in the Special Olympics? It's a pain in the ass to retrieve the wheelchairs."