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Joke of the Day

"My paper boy is Jamaican... My paper is always late, and it's always rolled nice and tight"

"The number of red lights you will hit while driving are directly proportional to how bad you have to pee."

"Why can't you cross the Mexican border in groups of three? There's no tres-passing!"

"Wife: Who is it? Me [hand over phone]: The police, they say it's now illegal to fake throw a ball Dog in other room: [hangs up his phone]"

"Usian Bolt's favourite country? I-ran ;)"

"A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah's ark."

"What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12."

"You can only enjoy Lord of the Rings if you're taking heroin... It's called high fantasy."

"Did you hear about the famous nudist? He wanted more exposure."

"What would you call Martin Luther king Jr if he was white? Alive."