188801

Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar If i had a dollar for every time a homeless guy asked me for money, I still wouldn't give him any."

"Never have phone sex You'll catch hearing-aids"

"Walked into a spider web and did an hour of tai chi in five seconds."

"I played a blank CD full blast on repeat all night last night. The mime next door went nuts!"

"Kids are like doughnuts. Sweet and yummy but more than one, maybe two, and you're like, ""What the hell have I done?"""

"I'm sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they've won the Canadian lottery."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't like my pizza burnt."

"Cannibal kid... ...is walking home, chanting: ""I'm hungry, hungry, hungry!"" Half an hour later, he leaves the house, chanting: ""I'm an orphan, an orphan, an orphan!"""

"A rather bold robber... Broke into the local police department and stole all of their toilets. Cops report that they have nothing to go on."