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Joke of the Day

"Walked into a spider web and did an hour of tai chi in five seconds."

"I'm the Spare Queen All I know is how to make a mess and then make sense of it."

"Three old women are sitting on a porch. The first one says ""Oy."" The second one says ""Oy vey."" The third one says ""I thought we weren't going to talk about the children."""

"She's a cosmetologist, bro. Astronaut stuff."

"What's the difference between... NSFW What's the difference between a joke and a 12"" dick? You can't take a joke."

"The people in commercials care about me & want to help."

"Do you like tapes and CDs? Cuz I'm gonna tape my dick to your forehead, so you can see deez nuts."

"A man asks his wife on a Friday evening... Husband: Shall we have a nice weekend? Wife: Sure, why not? Husband: Ok then, see you on Monday!"

"What did the Zune say to the iPod? You da real MP3."

"The fourth Harry Potter book marked a huge tone shift for the rest of the series. I mean, the fifth book was dead serious."