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Joke of the Day

"You say tomato soup. I say ketchup soup. Cause the three year old won't eat tomato soup."

"Me: I'm into fitness Trainer: not again M: fitness whole pizza in my mouth T: you should go M: this isn't going to ""workout"" T: LEAVE NOW"

"Why are bodybuilders great pallbearers? They're fantastic dead lifters"

"Why should you never play Uno with a foreigner? Because they will always steal the green cards."

"NHK reported on the massive American erection yesterday... and apparently there will be a bigger one in two years."

"What's Beethoven's favourite fruit? BA NA NA NA. BA NA NA NA."

"I once was lost, but now I'm drunk, was blind but now, I pee."

"I was an emotional Wedding. Even the Cake was in Tiers."

"If a bear tries to attack you in the woods, give it your bicycle. Maybe it's one of those circus bears, you never know."

"BAlls and Pen*s are best friends Balls to penis: why the fcuk you leave me when u see a hole or 2 mountains? Penis: coz thats the only time i really need you"