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Joke of the Day

"I once was lost, but now I'm drunk, was blind but now, I pee."

"Say what you will about us hypocrites, but the standards we claim to have are WAY higher than yours."

"What did the doctor say to the angry midget? ""I'm going to ask you to be a little patient."""

"What don't you say to console a grammar nazi? ""There their they're, it'll be okay!"""

"What do you call a Japanese Transvestite? Nip Tuck"

"At first I didn't like having a beard But then it grew on me."

"Only a coward brings a gun to a swordfight, But only a moron brings a sword to a gunfight."

"Your body is a temple. Congrats on the expanding congregation!"

"Spinach is like butt sex... If you are forced to have it as a child, you aren't going to enjoy it as an adult."

"Where does a thumb meet its type? At ***the space bar!*** oh-my-goodness! ~Skip"