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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a baby in a concentration camp? Baby Powder."
Next Joke
"You look so perfect standing there, In my American Apparel underwear, But I know now you probably opened the wrong Christmas present grandma"
"I'm heading to Greenwich later today. Wondering what I should do in the Mean Time."
"Me: You wanna have sex tonight? GF: I'm not in the mood babe. Me: Hold on a second. I'm on the phone."
"My mum told me to stop tickling my little brothers feet. Apparently I should wait until he is born."
"The Boy Scouts ended their ban on gay adults, which means that soon you'll be able to buy some delicious Boy Scout cookies."
"I admit opening an alligator petting zoo was not the best idea, but I told the kids to be careful so there's plenty of blame to go around."
"*finally finds comfiest position in bed* bladder: so you're not going to believe this"
"What does a bowling ball and your mom have in common? You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter, and they'll always come back."
"This girl came up to me today and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. I was confused. I never met herbivore."