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Joke of the Day

"Me: You wanna have sex tonight? GF: I'm not in the mood babe. Me: Hold on a second. I'm on the phone."

"How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long? AHEM!"

"Why are there no black people at the North Pole? Because there is nothing to steal there"

"Trivia Crack is much safer than regular crack, but it will still tear your family apart."

"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? / Are you still on your iPhone even though you said you were going to sleep?"

"I'm not doubting that you're 1/8th Pond People, but this is a research paper. You can't cite ""BOG WISDOM"""

"How do you make a Gorilla stew? You keep it waiting for three hours!"

"Secretly killing birds and making It look like a suicide - Windexter."

"I used to own a car that never seemed to run properly. It was a brokeswagen."

"What's better than honor? Inner"