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Joke of the Day

"What did the old fly say to the young fly? I've seen a lot of shit!"

"Why can't Caitlyn Jenner lie to her kids? She's a transparent."

"Gonna try and impress this hot girl biking next to me at the gym by answering the Who Wants to be a Millionaire questions out loud."

"Houston teen kills himself while taking a selfie with a gun He probably should have used a camera"

"Speed dating (Don't say anything embarrassing) ""So do you ever eat raisins and then later poop rehydrated grapes?"" (DAMMIT!)"

"Two muffins sitting in an oven... The first turns to the other and says ""Holy shit, it's hot in here"" The other exclaims ""Holy shit! A talking muffin!"""

"A large hole appeared outside the local police station. They're looking into it."

"How is a 9 Volt Battery similar to an Anus? You know you shouldn't, but eventually you're gunna lick it."

"''Your call is important to us......please enjoy this 40 minute long flute solo''"

"A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese spend the evening drinking in a bar. Who picks up the tab? The German."