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Joke of the Day

"Gonna try and impress this hot girl biking next to me at the gym by answering the Who Wants to be a Millionaire questions out loud."

"What did the Englisman say when he got a bad deal at the bazaar? Egypt me!"

"I guess it's time to face the reality that I just do not want to rock and roll all night. Nor do I wish to party eva-ree day."

"What do you call the drummer that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless."

"Why did the tofu cross the road? To prove it wasn't chicken. >:|"

"Me: *slides note to bank teller* Bank Teller: So....you're not robbing us, you just want to take a selfie with ""mad cash"" on your face?"

"If a mother and her son conceived a child, what would the child call his/her mother? ""Herrburgggerrrpffffppphfffffdudududeck"""

"A police man pulls over a car in the middle of the night ""Sir, do you realise how badly your car was swerving between lanes?"" ""I've had 8 drinks, officer."" ""That's no excuse to let your wife drive..."""

"I hate people who support the Nazis They're such deutschbags."

"What do you call a snobby criminal going down stairs? A condescending con descending"