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Joke of the Day

"Reasons why it's bad that Justin Bieber is retiring: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5."

"If a Christian rock band had a Gibson, they could be called ""The Five Gospels, Les Paul."" ^"

"What's the opposite of effort? F it."

"my sex life is a lot like the bible mostly imaginary and with not much chance of a sequel"

"Why couldn't the two testes be friends? Because of the vas deferens."

"How do you see countries neighboring Russia? Ukraine your neck."

"Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting round playing on the Internet you'll be fat and useless when you grow up. Pupil: Wow! You must have spent hours surfing when you were a kid!"

"I went to a gay bar. As I sat down to order a drink, I went to a gay bar. As I sat down to order a drink, a kind gentleman approached and offered to push my stool in."

"They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks... But I didn't even try and mine's been playing dead for an hour!"

"What is the safest place in the galaxy? In the direct line of fire of a Storm Trooper."