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Joke of the Day

"This girl said ""she didn't know how I would take it..."" So I figured if anything I'd just give it back."

"I told him I like a big vocabulary and now he won't stop using 72pt font."

"I formed a band with my therapy group. It was fun for a while, but we couldn't make it big. Our album 'Appetite for Self-Destruction' didn't do well with the critics."

"What is the Italian postal motto? We know where **you** live, your family too!"

"What is the favourite part of Halloween for a pedophile? The home delivery."

"Why did I buy a bolt? Because the hardware store clerk was a 300 pound flaming homosexual, and I was afraid to ask him for a screw"

"That awkward moment when your girlfriend is looking up for a noodles recipe on your computer and opens a file called ""Asian."""

"Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work? Because he got Snowden"

"When I was a kid... 'Too cool for school' meant the boiler had broken and we were all sent home."

"I accepted the Microsoft terms and conditions without reading them, and apparently I'm now responsible for hemming all of Bill Gates' pants."