188158

Joke of the Day

"This girl said ""she didn't know how I would take it..."" So I figured if anything I'd just give it back."

"I wish my band were shittier so we could get booked on Leno :("

"An Aborigine walks into a bar wearing one sandal. ' Lost a sandal dude??, ' asks the barman. ' Nah,found one, ' replies the Aborigen."

"What do you call an atheist who no longer worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster? A-pasta-ate."

"My dad fought in World War II. I just received an email confirming my order of a maroon cardigan sweater."

"Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore..... A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband."

"The first rule of cliff hanger club is"

"Everyone complains about immigration until they're searching the city for a decent taco."

"People that pronounce vase like ""voz"" make me want to punch them in the foz."

"How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only two, but you have to wonder how the hell they got in there"