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Joke of the Day

"How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only two, but you have to wonder how the hell they got in there"

"Albert Einstein was a genius... But his brother Frank was a monster."

"What did Satan name his new bar? The BeelzebPub"

"Hey grocery store cashiers that try to guess what we're going to cook- Shut up."

"What do get when you cross a Jehovah's witness and a Hells Angel? Someone who knocks on your front door and tells you to piss off."

"Q: Older Brother: ""Hooray! School's out! I'm free! I'm free!"" A: Younger Brother: ""So what? I'm four!"""

"I heard diarrhea is hereditary... It runs in your jeans. (Ba dum tss)"

"The woman who injected her 8-year old with Botox for beauty pageants has lost custody... The child didn't look surprised..."

"Where do Jewish kids go in the summer to learn to study better? Concentration camp"

"I have half a mind to get another lobotomy."