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Joke of the Day

"My wife said she wanted a divorce for Christmas. I told her I did not want to spend that much."

"Judgment Day will be long, grueling and brutal. On the plus side, there will be a special ""Fudge-ment Day!"" stand for the kids."

"I'd like the chicken-fried steak, please."" Uh lemme get back to you *runs to kitchen* YO WE GOT ANY CHICKENS THAT KNOW HOW TO FRY A STEAK"

"If you piss me off in the grocery store I will get in line in front of you and pay for a single banana with a personal check"

"Pet Review: Horses Cost: Thousands of dollars Pros: Bragging about owning a horse Cons: Can literally kick your face off, big teeth 1.5/10"

"I got a sweater for xmas.... I was hoping for a screamer or a moaner."

"Testing new mobile phone Hello, i don't know if anyone is going to read this because i am using the internet explorer. But still i wanna wish you a good start in the new year 2010."

"Look at your disgusting balls. That's LITERALLY exactly what Jesus wants them to look like. #Bible"

"You're Immature My girlfriend said that I'm too immature I said if I'm immature than why have i got an arsfor She said wats an arsefor I said shitting and giggled for 20 mins"

"My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money; watch your health..."" So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. -Jackie Mason"