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Joke of the Day

"I want a Times New Roman on the streets and a Wingdings in the sheets."

"CENTAUR: My dad slept with a horse MINOTAUR: My mum slept with a bull PIGOTAUR: My dad was Prime Minister."

"I once swallowed a piece of string and it came out tied. I shit you knot."

"The priest said that the demon really wants to leave, but I'm way too clingy, so the exorcism didn't work."

"I've been told I have to tell a joke about barometers... Ooh, the pressure."

"cop joke He got pulled over by a cop. Cop:""I've been waiting all day to catch someone like you."" Boy:""I know sir, I got here as fast as I could."""

"You're a special combination of disappointment, and What The Fcuk!?'"

"I have pet snakes, turtles, and lizards. They are a family but I think they hate each other. I think I have A reptile disfunction."

"Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. Son:.... Me:..... Son:.... Me:.... Son: I don't have any other feet. Me:.... Fair enough, dude."

"What do you call a country full of animals that eat a lot and sleep for many months at a time? High-Bear-Nation! ^^*Shit* ^^*where's* ^^*the* ^^*door*"