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Joke of the Day

"The priest said that the demon really wants to leave, but I'm way too clingy, so the exorcism didn't work."

Next Joke
 
"John supper in spanish is JUAN CENA ^^^^^^^^edit: ^^^^^^^^apparently ^^^^^^^^its ^^^^^^^^juan ^^^^^^^^cena"
"DOCTOR: *stethoscope on my back* Gimme a very slow exhale. ME: EXXXXHHHHHHAAAALLLLLE"
"Uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh huh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh huh Me, Rap battling"
"Working at the office the other day and a lady came up to me and asked for a hole punch, didn't know she knew about my signature move."
"My neighbors listen to great music... whether they like it or not."
"Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles."
"Because its action precedes its cause. Why did the tachyon cross the road?"
"When my girlfriend and I decided to make it official, I told her: I have to tell you, before we met, I was... well...promiscuous. Oh cool she exclaimed. I love Greek mythology."
"I said to my doctor... I said to my doctor, ""Doctor, i just don't know what's wrong with me this week?"" He said ""Jim, you're a hypochondriac"". I replied ""Oh no, not that aswell!"""