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Joke of the Day

"Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. Son:.... Me:..... Son:.... Me:.... Son: I don't have any other feet. Me:.... Fair enough, dude."

"If you get a divorce in Kentucky. . . are you still cousins?"

"Don't let people tell you that life after college is nothing but being poor and tired. It's 100% true, but it's more fun if it's a surprise."

"How do you disappoint a pack of redditors? [removed]"

"I asked two Uber drivers to pick each other up and am watching them chase each other in circles around my block until they run out of gas."

"I'm not saying I've got a girl crush on you, I'm just saying lesbiadorable together."

"What do you call a person with native american ancestry and alopecia? apache"

"What's the difference between three midget mensa members and a female track team? One group is a bunch of cunning runts..."

"Did you hear about the plane that flew over the Java Sea? it crashed."

"Having only ever competed in the 100m dash, what did the professional sprinter say after his first 200m race? I've finally turned a corner in my career."