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Joke of the Day
"What did Jay-Z call his wife-to-be? Feyonce."
Next Joke
"*checks pockets for phone 53 times before jumping in pool* *skinny dips to be on the safe side*"
"I'd love to get in touch with Emilio Esteves. Does anyone have his emailio addressteves?"
"I got a good piece of advice for picking up girls Just keep your back straight and lift with your legs."
"Women... can't live with them and the alternative is literally a pain in the ass."
"Abraham Lincoln. The reason I now have to hire a dishwasher instead of buying one."
"I owe my life to Nickelback I got in a horrible car crash and was in 6 month coma. Then the nurse switched the song to Nickelback. I woke up and muted it."
"My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said that's a big word for a nine year old."
"I'm so Italian . . . I even text with my hands."
"I am fairly certain that ""YOLO"" is ""Carpe Diem"" for stupid people."