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Joke of the Day

"Bye bye Wheaties Bruce Jenner just signed a promotional contact with Quaker State. They're going to start putting his face on every quart of Tranny Fluid."

"Women are like condoms... They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."

"I have the Anne Hathaway ""It came true!"" reaction whenever the guy at Subway hands me my sandwich."

"Why is America home to the majority of comedians? Lax pun control laws."

"My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So I'm off to find a bar with a mirror."

"Why do Mexicans walk around school like they own the place? Their dads built it and their moms clean it."

"A list as long as my arm.. I have a list as long as my arm of why I wish my mother never took thalidomide"

"What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels..."

"Do you know ... Do you know what girls say to guys with big dicks....... **I do...**"

"Did you hear about that celebrity who committed suicide? Reese whatsername? ""Witherspoon?"" ""No, with a knife!"" Only really works if you actually tell it to someone (and can maintain a good pokerface)"