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Joke of the Day
"The only time I want the carpet to match the drapes is when I'm dating a bald headed girl."
Next Joke
"What is 6.9? A very good moment ruined by a period."
"How does a candy bar laugh? It snickers"
"What do you call a duck with one leg A handiquack"
"What's the difference between a Toronto Maple Leafs fan and a 14-year old girl? Nothing. They are both just waiting for the first period to be over."
"LPT: Next time you want to tell someone facing you ""my right"" just say left"
"So a three legged dog walks into a bar and says, ""I'm lookin for the man that shot my paw."""
"My teacher called me a procrastinator today. But I'd say I'm more of an amateurcrastinator considering none of my endorsement checks have come in yet."
"I hate having sex with my partner while we're camping... It's two fucking in tents."
"If a guy stares at your boobs, just stare at his d!ck ... maybe squint a little bit"