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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Toronto Maple Leafs fan and a 14-year old girl? Nothing. They are both just waiting for the first period to be over."

"Are spambots as flirty with everyone else or do I actually have a legitimate shot?"

"I start a new job in Seoul next week... ...I thought it might be a good Korea move."

"I am against picketing, but I don't know how to show it Happy Birthday man, we miss you"

"What is the fastest animal in the world? The Ethiopian chicken."

"What do you call a man who loses pounds for a living? A bad gambler"

"*gets in the bus* *Brings out earphones* *untangles* *arrives*"

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate it's tits a lot"

"I called in to work and asked my boss what the difference between work and his daughter was. I'm not coming into work this morning."

"As a fat guy I never really have more pep in my step... But I do occasionally get a little more throttle in my waddle."