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Joke of the Day
"My fitness instructer keeps asking if I squat. No Gary..I rent. I'm not a hobo."
Next Joke
"My goal in life is always turn the negative into the positive... which is why I lost my job at the HIV clinic"
"Donald Trump."
"I made up a new word plagiarism"
"""I want u so badly"" - Scrabble players with a q in their rack."
"A women's logic: Hes nice, but I'd rather date an asshole, try to change him, fail, get my heart broken and preach ""All guys are the same"""
"Best actor of all time in human history. Also Starring"
"I never pay for drinks I just insult women at bars & when they throw drinks in my face I open my mouth haha thanks for the free booze ladies"
"How does a coffee maker know it might be pregnant? It's period is a little LATTE."
"My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and... A lifetime ban from the New York City zoo."