2048

Joke of the Day

"[gf comes home after spray tanning] Hey, orange you looking good! ""Thanks"" Anytime, pumpkin! ""You're sweet"" You're one in vermillion!"

"Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."

"Did you hear about the man who had sex with a parrot? He got chirpes, and the bad news is...it's untweetable."

"What is a wok? Something you throw at wabbits when you haven't got your wifle."

"For the last time... I'm not depressed. This is just how I eat."

"If Lord of the Rings starred Denzel Washington.... ...then at least there would be a Tolkien black guy."

"4 out of 5 dentists recommend teeth."

"What did the Joker say to the dwarf planet? Why so Ceres?"

"If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it's working."

"How many music majors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 16 One to screw it in and 15 others to stand around and talk shit about how bad the one person did."