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Joke of the Day

"A rule for myself that's worked my entire life: when you hear the garage door open, put your penis away."

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic grocery bag? One is made of plastic and is bad for kids to play with, and the other is a plastic grocery bag."

"Some people are like Slinkies... Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but they can still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

"This Elevator is out of order.Why? Too many Sumo tried to squeeze into it."

"I like my coffee like I like my racist jokes... Made by someone else."

"*watches a movie with you* *loudly beeps during all the good parts*"

"Our doctor's office painted their examination rooms the color 'Bran Muffin'. They hope to keep our attendance more regular."

"Ghana has eliminated the U.S. from last two World Cups... They're probably Ghana do it again."

"Never make puns during a Scrabble match. Your opponent may not like your wordplay."

"I accidentally went to Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca... It was a Wookie mistake"