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Joke of the Day

"What type of matter can be both a solid and a liquid? Fecal matter It can also be plasma if you poop on the sun....can also be a gas if you fart. Also can be dinner if your hungry."

"Why do hamburgers make good baseball players? They're great at the plate!"

"Going on the Obama diet... Putin will eat my lunch everyday..."

"Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere **Knock Knock** Who's there? Not Sally."

"Did you hear about the guy who was on trial for masturbating to obscure court cases? He got off on a technicality."

"I'm eating for six, according to the serving size on every single package of everything ever."

"When is it time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? When the big hand touches the little hand."

"Those signs that say ""Slow children playing"" When they grow up become ""Slow men working"""

"Binoculars have to be the worst gift you can buy for a cyclops."

"Why was the hen banned from sending e-mails? She was always using fowl language."