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Joke of the Day

"Some people are like Slinkies... Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but they can still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

"What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet? *""Out, damned spot! Out, I say!""*"

"""Spelt"" is a type of wheat. ""Spelled"" is what you just did incorrectly."

"What is the worst icebreaker? The Titanic"

"My new washing machine plays a tune very similar to an ice cream truck when it's finished. There's no ice cream in there. I checked. Twice."

"She's marrying HIM?! TODAY?! *cut to me sprinting across town to stop the wedding but I see a good dog at the park and pet him instead*"

"What do you call a religious owl? A bird of pray."

"[sees girl reading The Bible] ""Ah I love that book. The way they just *clenches fist* buy all those frickin bulls."""

"Brings donuts to work because if I can't be skinny neither can you."

"How do your organize a space party? You planet! (It won't turn out well though because it has no atmosphere.)"