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Joke of the Day

"Why did the molecular biologist want to make a porno film of gametes? Because sex cells."

"The last time we had a white Christmas, I made snow angels. I skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians."

"I say: ""No, sorry. I'm not on Facebook at all."" They hear: ""I live amongst hill people where The Goat we worship has forbidden friendship."""

"You're so vein, you probably think this bloody cut is about you."

"Cross-Eyed Monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Witch: Well I won't stand in your way."

"How does Hitler tie his shoesies? With little nazis."

"I wish I was black I'll never be the first anything now."

"Which composer do lumberjacks prefer to listen to? Chopin"

"Difference between a dead dog and a dead lawyer in the road? The dog had skid marks in front of it."

"My Granddad committed suicide. He drove off a cliff. Everyone was screaming and shouting at him telling him not to do it. Then again he was a bus driver."