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Joke of the Day

"The Royal baby weighed in at almost 9 pounds Which is just under $15 US"

"I'm really good in bed. When you compare it to how fucking awful I am out of it."

"I was driving down the road when I spotted a black man walking along carrying a TV over his shoulder... ...I asked myself, ""Is that mine?"" Then I realized, mine was at home shining my shoes!"

"What is an injured persons favorite movie? Cast Away"

"Chuck Norris... ..was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands"

"What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders? He quit running."

"I went shopping for some camouflage trousers earlier. Couldn't find a pair anywhere."

"Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up & play dead and they usually leave you alone."

"starting an indie band called Their Early Stuff"

"I'd really love to study Philosophy... But I Kant."