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Joke of the Day

"I do my best when my manager puts a gun to my head."

"if u watch snowfall backwarbds, its abot the ground disolving into the sky to reveal the complex world it was hiding beneath it"

"Whats better then getting a gold medal in the Paralympics? Walking."

"""911 what's your emergency?"" ""Yeah, I've got so many questions about bees."" *sighs* ""Please hold for the president."""

"I just read a book about Bipolar Disorder. One hand I liked it and sent it to everyone I know, on the other hand I burned it and my house down."

"Can Walmart be a feeling? I think that's how I feel today."

"What does a prostitute and a book have in common? For five dollars you can get one with crabs in it."

"Hitler started the first ever Jewish Marathon.. But he couldn't finish the race"

"What's the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bubble bath? The girl in church has her soul full of hope..."

"Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant."