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Joke of the Day

"I can't diet because it would devastate the local fast food economy, and frankly, I just don't think I could live with that kind of guilt."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know but it's more than 5 because my basement is still dark..."

"Stephen Hawking is going to hell... ... because there's only a stairway to heaven."

"I only have sex with the lights off to prevent having to explain some of my tattoos."

"I like my women like I like my calzones Somewhat crusty on the outer part and really gooey and cheesy on the inner part."

"Did you know diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans."

"Well... cats clean themselves... and we *are* out of toilet paper..."

"and on the 8th day, god created a website for u to meet the hot christian singles in ur area"

"The bartender says, ""We don't serve time travelers here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"Why doesn't Melania Trump want her husband to become President? She doesn't want to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood."