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Joke of the Day

"What are the chemicals in a midget's body that make them happy? En-dwarf-ins"

"Disney shouldn't have to post warning signs Don't their gators make a ticking sound as they approach?"

"Did you hear about the man who got sick at the airport? It was a terminal illness."

"One time I did mushrooms and played GTA and felt regret for the lives I was taking I was all ""Holy shit these people have families"""

"We don't need a Voting Rights Act. If we just give all the votes to rich people, then democracy will just trickle down to everyone else."

"That awkward moment; when no one else is laughing, except for you and you can't stop."

"What do you call 2 crackers arguing? White noise."

"When u give ur phone number at CVS turn to the person behind u in line & say ""now don't be calling me for a date"""

"Hey, did you guys know Vicodin *isn't* like Flinstones chewables, at all."

"Cop: You were going 30 over the speed limit Me: Are you sure about that? *gives him a handful of Cheez-Its* Cop: Have a nice day, sir."