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Joke of the Day

"What has 3 arms, 1 hat, 2 shirts, 1 jacket, 1 scarf, 1 gun, and 4 ears? The Tchernobyl cowboy."

"I bet my friend $1000 I'd never take it in the butt. He says I am just a sore loser."

"Thanks for explaining the word ""many"" to me. It means a lot."

"What do you get when you cross a whore and a leprechaun. A little green fucker about two feet tall. (Best told orally so can hold hands two feet apart.)"

"what did lowes say when home depot kickcked him in the crotch ouch menards (my nards). lolz"

"Cop: Know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I'm black?? Cop: Sir, you're white, driving 90 in a 30. Me: Racist. Cop: Get out."

"*swims up to girl in pool* so do you.. actually this is quite deep jesus *just disappears*"

"Q: Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side? A: So the cops can find the handles."

"A late night booty call woke me from a deep sleep... that damn cricket better have got some!"

"I assume every Chinese tattoo I see stands for ""This was a mistake."""