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Joke of the Day

"The Supreme Court is like regular court but with sour creme, guacamole and extra cheese."

"If you have a tattoo on your head, you've lost the right to ask me what I'm looking at."

"[boarding plane with really old pilot] ""think his heart will hold out? lol"" attendent: excuse me, sir? ""depart out, what time do we leave?"""

"I got a new clock at IED.com"

"If you don't like oral sex You should keep your mouth shut"

"If your coffee tastes like mud... It's probably fresh ground..."

"The Manager you asked to speak to doesn't give a fuck either."

"Please may I have a new bum? Mines got a crack in it"

"Are you in a fight with another person? Well it really seems like you two are squaring off. At least to tell us the long side of the story according to the Pythagorean Theorem."

"I'm stuck in a meeting where a guy keeps saying ""utilize"" and ""leverage"" and I'm wondering if I should tell him about the word ""use""."