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Joke of the Day

"Instead of saying a package is Family Size, it'd be more helpful if it listed a time frame, like 3 Hours Worth of Cookies."

Next Joke
 
"I had a dream about a horse in a suit of armor. Pretty sure it was a knightmare."
"Next update: Twitter will tell you what the retweeter is feeling as they retweet your retweet. And what they had for breakfast."
"I tell you what makes my blood boil, faulty spacesuits."
"What do you call a Spider-man that is a valet? A Peter Parker"
"*skydiving* Jumper: Where's your parachute? Married Guy: Don't need one J: There's no chance of survival MG: Not trying to beat the odds"
"I'm a businessman so I tuck my shirt in. There's a lot of money on the line so I need you to know that this is roughly where my legs start."
"A Irishman walks out of a Bar"
"My wife made me pack my own bag for vacation and now I have to figure out how to wear potato chips."
"everyone's always saying 'the good ones die young', 'god only takes the best'. so I must be immortal"