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Joke of the Day

"A Irishman walks out of a Bar"

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"My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe."
"my daughter has been thrusting her stuffed animals in my face for me to kiss, but I'm being very selective so she learns to have standards"
"I found out I'm part Native American..... my beard is Apache."
"Why did Ahmed Mohamed get delayed at the airport? he was on a watch list..."
"This morning I found a fly on my toilet seat. ... It was pissed off."
"How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three: one to hold the bulb, and two to spin the first one around."
"INTERVIEWER: do u have any weaknesses VIDEO GAME BOSS: [strugling to cover glowing weak spots all over body] UM"
"[job interview] ""What would you say is your greatest strength? I'm pretty humble. Actually, I'm incredibly humble. Amaaaaazingly humble."
"CASHIER: 300. ME: Ha, like the movie. CASHIER: Nice one, Seinfeld. ME: Ha, like the comedian. CASHIER: ... ME: Ha, like a mime..."