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Joke of the Day

"So Aliens Arrive ""Earth has a species with advanced warfare, they seem intelligent."" ""No, they have it aimed at themselves."""

"Why do bald guys cut holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair."

"*cop pulls me over* Have you been drinking? No I- *water bottle now full of wine* *officer lowers shades. its Jesus* No one will believe you"

"If you add enough jalapenos no one will ever know you're a bad cook."

"Really racist joke ""They say that black is the absence of light, but really it's the absence of a father."""

"What did one bolt of cloth say to the other bolt of cloth after hurting its feelings? I'm sari."

"Oldest boy band in the world One erection"

"*catches 4yo putting on deodorant* Me: What are you doing? 4yo: Feeding my armpits. Me....as you were."

"What is Cthulhu's favorite cookbook? The NecroNomNomNom!"

"I'm from the 80's. We ate cookies instead of deleting them."