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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the man who invented the knock knock joke? He won the Nobel prize. (Sorry if this has been posted before, I heard it today for the first time and it made my day)"

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"Oil is made from dinosaurs. Plastic is made from oil. Plastic dinosaurs are made from real dinosaurs."
"Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors? Because if it had 4, it would be a chicken sedan."
"I bumped into a cute guy today. I clawed his face off. I should work on my people skills."
"You hear about all of these refugees? Sounds like a Syria's problem."
"Dog keeps sighing melodramatically. I know he wants me to ask him what's wrong, but I'm not falling for it."
"Wife: ""Do you want to watch Batman Forever?"" Me: ""I'll watch it for a couple of hours."" Wife: ""I hate you."""
"*puts hand on your knee *slowly moves up your thigh *runs over your hip *drags finger up your stomach *grabs remote *changes channel"
"*in the corridor of the club waiting for my transitions lenses to turn back into glasses* i'll see you ladies inside"
"How many dragon Ball z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but it'll take at least 6 episodes!"