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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend just replied to my text saying she is up for a threesome tonight! Now I am anxiously waiting for my wife to reply."

"Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he's a fungi."

"The name is Berry Dickenson (shitty oc)... ...As in I wish to bury my dick in your son."

"What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work? I missed you"

"""Dad, I cant sleep."" Dad: [enters chugging a Monster] SLEEP IS DEAD. GET A JOB. ""Dad Im seven-"" Dad: SO WERE THE DWARVES BUT THEY HAD JOBS."

"What did the fish say when it hit a wall? DAM."

"Us New Yorkers try to stick to the four main food groups; pizza, pizza bagels, pizza pies, and cheesecake."

"If you're stuck in the wild, rub two mozzarella sticks together to start a pizza."

"What do you call something that swims, is big and has 4 legs? A whale with a table taped to it."

"How difficult is it to live with erectile dysfunction? It turns out, it's not very hard at all"