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Joke of the Day
"The name is Berry Dickenson (shitty oc)... ...As in I wish to bury my dick in your son."
Next Joke
"Cashier: find everything okay? Me: yes [comes back 5 hours later] Me: [through the tears] i lied, i've been trying to find Kony since 2012"
"Twister 2: Climate change makes tornadoes evolve. They work together. We can't beat them. We team up instead The twisters destroy ISIS."
"As a gift to my girlfriend, Tola, I tattooed her name on myself in the mirror and I think that says alot"
"Scientists have found... ...That people don't give a damn about apathy."
"I honestly don't know how much longer I can be expected to go on before I inherit a manor with a horrifying secret"
"You can have any movie from Rick Astley's Pixar collection, except for one He's never gonna give you Up. ^^^^^^sorrynotsorry"
"Me: *Asks question on snapchat* Them: *Answers question on snapchat* Me: ""Wait, what did I ask again?"""
"Her: Describe your ideal date. Me: I'd order an extra large pizza. Her: Interesting. What would I be wearing? Me: Oh, you'd be there, too?"
"What martial art did Hitler have a black belt in? Gazillion Jew-Jitsu"