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Joke of the Day

"Us New Yorkers try to stick to the four main food groups; pizza, pizza bagels, pizza pies, and cheesecake."

"*sir mix a lot voice* i like big butts and i'm sad inside"

"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs... ...because they always take things literally."

"Ever wonder why children tend to ignore their parents who underwent a sex change op? It's because they are trans-parent."

"Is it hard to get a degree in hocking loogies? Well, it's snot rocket science."

"*Meanwhile at a restaurant* Waiter: Welcome sir, would you like a table? Me: So kind of you, I wouldn't mind. *Picks table and walks out*"

"What is a nitrate? It is much cheaper than a day rate."

"Alcohol and calculus don't mix... ...never drink and derive."

"On what grounds did the wife divorce her husband when she found out he was having an affair with the leader of Cuba? Infidelity"

"If you walk in on a girl giving birth in the bathroom at Applebees, don't judge her, you're also eating at Applebees."