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Joke of the Day

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 is dating 7's ex, and 7 has a history of violence and has been leaving 6 increasingly threatening messages. There is no joke here, 6 is in serious danger."

"*THUD* ""What was that?"" ""My pants fell down."" ""...Why so loud?"" ""I'm wearing them."""

"Dutch girl I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs."

"What has holes in it, and travels down an alley? Batman: my parents?? Riddler: no its a bowling ball! I-im so sorry!"

"What's the best way to break in a new pair of shoes? Moonwalking"

"What does the future hold? Global warming, depleted resources, & species going extinct. But also the iPhone 5, so it's break even."

"That's a Chapstick in my pocket and I'm a little happy to see you."

"[wife looking at pictures of my dead body with police] ""why isn't he wearing a shirt"" we believe he removed it when he challenged the coyote"

"""Oh you just put lotion on? You're not going anywhere."" - Doorknob"

"What's the difference between Lance Armstrong and Hitler? Lance could finish a race"